You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
