your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
