My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
