you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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