she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
