Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
