Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
