Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
