Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
