That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
