O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
