drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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