she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
