chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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