More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
