It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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