The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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