Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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