I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
