how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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