You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I fill condoms, not promises.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
