I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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