Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
