Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
