i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
