i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
