The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
