Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just crazy horny about you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
