Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize