sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
