it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
