when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
