all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so let's talk penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
