I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
