He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
