i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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