honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
