Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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