The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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