i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
