Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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