when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
