i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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