I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
