i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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