he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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