Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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