I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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