Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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