I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
