careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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