his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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