good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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