Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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