please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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